For the past 5 weeks I have been doing Weight Watchers online. I am doing well with it, and have been keeping a blog there, and in the meantime have been forgetting to post here. So...here is an excerpt from todays' entry on my WW blog.
"So the past week has been very tough here in our household. Over the past three years I have of course had hard days, what with my father having cancer and my grandfather passing away, with job changes and everything else. This week though has been a doozy to say the least.
I have realized more strongly than ever how different it is to know someone is dying and to have your opportunity to say your goodbyes and make your peace with their death, compared with the shock of having someone here one day and gone the next. Unfortunately, Christophers "uncle" Mike died of a heart attack suddenly (and we hope in his sleep) sometime Sunday night or Monday morning. He was an employee for a contractor in Iraq and was on his way home from there when two men found him on a bus in Bagdad. We got the news Tuesday morning, and even though Chris' stepdad isn't his biological father, Chuck is the man who raised him and the man I credit with why Chris is who he is and the man I love. Mike was Chucks' best friend. Since high school these guys were best friends. They both served in the military, they both rode choppers, they even lived together for awhile before Mike went to work in Iraq.
It has been very difficult to process and it is excruitiatingly hard to know how much Chuck and Chris and the entire family is hurting.
It reminds me to cherish every day with the ones I love.
It reminds me that while I might be on WW and losing weight, I can still splurge. Life as I know it can include birthday cake(and it will this week, twice!) and cool ranch doritos or whatever other food is being had at a party. I can enjoy life and the ones I love and monitor my eating and my weight at the same time.
Because knowing that it could all be over tomorrow makes me want to live today completely and taste every little thing I can. I also know I don't want to die fat. So I make changes. In portion and activity level I trust, because without those I am just the before Crystal. The Crystal who hadn't lost 5% of her body weight in 5 weeks.
So I suppose my lesson this week to share is that life is tough, sometimes it is harder than you ever dreamed it could be, sometimes life will break your heart and make you cry for days. It's real life, but in real life we DO get to make our choices and we CAN become the person we dream of being. Even if not everyone we love will get to see the final result of all our hard work.
It's a big lesson, and a hard one to learn, but it's well worth it."
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